For generations, the 'bidai' ceremony has been a bittersweet part of Indian weddings. Bidai, literally meaning "farewell" in Hindi, is an emotional ritual where the bride departs from her childhood home to embark upon a new life with her partner at their house. But in the current landscape of 2024 weddings, is this emotional farewell a must-have for your wedding?
Here are five reasons why you might consider skipping the bidai and opting for a more contemporary approach.
The bidai ceremony symbolises "giving away" of the bride, implying that she is leaving her family and her people forever. But a daughter never truly leaves her home, she only simply expands her family circle. Modern couples maintain close ties with both sides of the family. By skipping the bidai, we can acknowledge the fact that marriage is about gaining “new relationships”, not losing the “existing ones”. This shift reflects that daughters will always continue to be integral parts of their birth families.
Oh to end your wedding on a high note!
Weddings should be about tears of joy, not sorrow. Celebrate the concept of having two homes instead of leaving one behind. Dance, sing, and transform your wedding into a celebration of love and togetherness. After all, your wedding day is about celebrating the start of a beautiful journey.
A farewell doesn't need an audience
Not everyone is comfortable with public displays of emotion. For many people, farewells are utterly personal and are better suited in a private setting/environment. By opting out of the ‘bidai’ ceremony, you can choose to have a private moment without the weight of expectations or public displays. A heartfelt chat with your parents or a special moment with your siblings can create a much more intimate and meaningful farewell that actually reflects the depth of your bond.
The bidai often overshadows the joy of welcoming a new member into the family. Flip the script! Your wedding day is also about welcoming your new family. Instead of focusing on goodbyes, use this occasion to celebrate the beautiful union of two families. Shower your in-laws with love and express your excitement about this new chapter in your life. This puts a positive spin on things and shows how families grow through marriage.
Love is a two-way street
The bidai ceremony often reinforces traditional gender roles, implying that the bride is leaving her family while the groom isn't. In 2024, it's time to recognise that marriage is an equal partnership and both partners are seen as integral parts of each other’s families. Both embark on this new journey together, and neither should be seen as being “given away”.
Ultimately, your wedding day is a reflection of your unique love story. Pick the traditions that feel right to you. If the Bidai doesn't resonate with you or your values, there's no reason to feel obligated to include it. Embrace the joy of new beginnings and celebrate the beautiful future you are building together.
Lead image credit: Elevate promotions
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