How to uninvite someone from your wedding

The idea of a wedding seems all fun and games until you actually sit down to do the work. You have to finalise the decor, the venue, the food, the programmes, and of course, the guest list. One of the most frustrating aspects of the latter—especially at an Indian wedding—is that some people will self-invite themselves. This could be a long-lost aunt, your dad’s colleague, or even your building friend. This can especially be a hindrance if you’re aiming for a more private celebration. So, how do you handle these self-invited guests? What do you say to them? Should you accommodate their presence or stick to your original plan for your wedding day?

We have listed a few ways you can (politely) uninvite someone to your wedding: 

When it comes to uninviting someone, honesty is often the best approach. There can be various reasons for your decision—whether it’s budget constraints, a desire for a more private celebration, or the presence of someone (like an ex) who makes you uncomfortable. The easiest way to communicate this is to be straightforward and polite. You might say something like, “We would love for you to come, but we’ve decided on a more intimate celebration this time,” or “We would have loved to have you, but our budget doesn't allow for many guests.” By being respectful and clear about your circumstances, you can convey your message without damaging your relationship. Remember, honesty combined with kindness can help maintain goodwill even in sensitive situations.

Have the conversation as soon as possible 

While it might feel daunting to address discomfort promptly, delaying the conversation often worsens the situation and leads to unnecessary tension. The longer you wait, the more time there is for misunderstandings to fester, which can create resentment. Approach the conversation with openness and a willingness to listen, setting aside any defensiveness. Sure, the reaction they have might be difficult to deal with. But at the end of the day, know that it is the right thing to do. 

If you are too uncomfortable to do this, ask for a mutual to help 

Uninviting someone can be particularly challenging, especially if you struggle with confrontation. If you find it too uncomfortable to handle this situation on your own, consider reaching out to a mutual friend or family member for support. This person can help convey the message on your behalf, providing context and easing the awkwardness. When asking for their help, be clear about your reasons for the uninvitation and emphasise the importance of maintaining sensitivity to the other person’s feelings. 

How do you deal with the guilt that follows? 

Chances are, once you have made the decision to uninvite someone, you may feel a wave of guilt afterwards. It’s essential to remember that establishing boundaries is important for your well-being, for its your big day. Sure, acknowledge your feelings, but try not to dwell on them; reflect on the reasons behind your decision and recognise that it was made with your best interests in mind. 


Lead image credit: Sobhita Dhulipala / Instagram

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