I have a sister who dated the same guy for ten years before they tied the knot. Now they have a little life in Mumbai with their three-year-old daughter. Then there's my brother, who’s about eight years older than me. He's been with his girlfriend for a decade as well, and they're about to get married now. Trust me, that’s all he has wanted after years and years of long distance.
I, on the other hand, am the perpetual single sister who finds it hard to maintain friendships, let alone relationships. Seeing the two people I am closest with navigate the world of love for ten years got me thinking about what does a decade-long partnership even feel like?
Sure, things change and evolve over time, but do they change for the better? How do you keep the spark alive after ten years of shared history? Here's the inside scoop on what a decade of love feels like, straight from the two best relationship experts I know!
The comfort of knowing each other inside out
My sister describes it as having a built-in best friend—someone who understands your deepest anxieties and wildest dreams without needing explanation. The most beautiful thing about sharing a decade-long bond is to share silence that feels comfortable, not awkward. And there’s nothing better than having someone who knows you inside out—your quirks, your imperfections, and vulnerabilities.
It’s not you vs them—It’s a team effort
Life throws curveballs, and ten years together means facing them together. My brother emphasises on the importance of partnership. You become a team, tackling challenges, and celebrating successes and failures together. Whether it's planning a dream vacation or raising a family, you approach life's milestones like a team.
The definition of love evolves
Any kind of relationship and its dynamics aren’t static. The person you were before you started dating your partner, or even while dating your partner for that matter, might not be the person you are today. And that’s completely normal. Just like that love, in particular, also undergoes a beautiful transformation over time. Grand gestures and extravagant gifts might be the language of love then. But after ten years, romance takes on a new meaning, where comfort and shared experiences become the most precious gifts.
Making room for individuality
A lot of people mistake their partners to be someone who can complete them. The entire concept of “the other half” is misleading. A healthy, fulfilling partnership thrives when both individuals are already whole on their own. At the end of the day, your partner compliments you, but doesn't complete you. So it’s also important to make room for yourself. Don't let your hobbies fall by the wayside. Dedicate time to activities that bring you joy and make room to embrace your individuality.
Keeping the spark alive
Comfort is all you need, but don't let the spark fade! The key to keeping the spark alive lies in prioritising romance and each other. My brother in law has never been one for extravagant displays of affection, but his love for my sister shines through in the everyday gestures. Whether it’s making tea for her when she’s stressed, or not shying away to press her legs in front of the entire family (because yes, true love is knowing exactly when your partner needs a foot massage, even in public!). These small acts of thoughtfulness and care speak volumes, keeping the spark alive in a way that feels genuine and deeply meaningful.
You can plan date nights, even if it's just a simple dinner at home. Try new adventures together, reignite the physical intimacy, do little things that you know would make your partner’s day and don't be afraid to surprise each other. At the end of the day, it’s important to express love to them, in whatever way you are comfortable. Even a little effort goes a long way in keeping the flame burning bright.
All images: Pexels
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