Should you set boundaries with your loved ones after you get married?

After marriage, it's important to set boundaries with family and friends to maintain a healthy balance between your marriage and external relationships. Boundaries help manage the dynamics of relationships, differences in expectations, and the need for personal space. Understanding why these situations arise, their potential consequences, and the importance of establishing boundaries is key.

Here are some common situations newlywed couples may face where boundaries can help. 

Frequent visits and/or unscheduled meetings at home

Family and friends may assume they have the same access to you after marriage, which can disrupt your time with your spouse. To manage this, establish visiting hours, ask for prior notice before visits, and encourage meetups outside your home. Limit the duration of visits to ensure quality private time with your partner.

Interference in your relationship  

Loved ones, especially parents, may feel entitled to offer advice or make decisions on your behalf, even when it’s not requested. This can create friction between partners, leading to feelings of judgment or inadequacy. Without boundaries, this interference can undermine your relationship, preventing you from handling issues privately. To address this, politely communicate that major decisions are for you and your spouse to make, and that advice is welcome only when asked.

Expecting more of your time and energy  

Family and friends may not realise the time demands of marriage and might expect you to remain as involved as before. Overcommitting can cause burnout and strain your relationship. To set boundaries, communicate that your marriage is a priority, limit social events, and politely decline invitations when you need private time together. Make it clear that your availability has changed.

When they set unrealistic financial expectations

Family and friends may assume that as a married couple, you have more financial resources, leading to requests that can create pressure or resentment. To set boundaries, explain that finances are shared with your spouse and decisions are made together. Politely decline requests and avoid discussing personal finances unless necessary.

A lack of personal space and sexual privacy 

In close-knit families, there can be a lack of awareness about the need for personal space, especially when it comes to topics of sex and intimacy. If boundaries around personal space or sexual privacy aren’t respected, it can lead to discomfort and strain in the marriage. To set boundaries, communicate that certain topics, particularly about intimacy, are off-limits for discussion. Kindly but firmly redirect conversations when necessary.

While not every situation requires setting boundaries, it's important to recognise when your space, time, or privacy is being compromised. As a married couple, open communication and mutual respect are key to navigating these moments. By establishing clear boundaries when needed, you protect your relationship and maintain healthy connections with others.

Lead image: Sonakshi Sinha/Instagram 

Also read: How to set boundaries with your toxic in-laws

Also read: 6 things newlyweds can do to win over their in-laws