Signs you need to cut your partner some slack

Your partner didn’t do the dishes as they promised. They are always on their phone. They didn’t give you the kind of affection you were hoping for when you were PMSing. There may be a hundred things that they didn’t do "right". Sure, if they never share the load, you can tell them to wash the damn dishes. But would it be fair if they just wanted to rest a bit after work and then do the dishes? Sure, you want your partner to give you love when you’re feeling low, but what if your partner missed it that one time or they are not as emotionally aware as you are? We can complain about many things, but where does that lead us? To a place where resentment takes over appreciation and irritation replaces gratitude. Eventually, with both partners feeling friction more than intimacy, the connection tends to weaken…or break. 

Maybe we can pick our battles and learn to cut our partners some slack when they haven’t absolutely gone wrong. If you suspect you’ve been a little short with your partner, here are a few signs that will help you reflect on things. 

Your conflicts have increased considerably

There are days when your partner is your peace, comfort, and joy, and there are days—more than you’d like—when the tension between you can be cut with a knife. You’ve been having too many of these days when you’re either just sitting there with contempt or having a hopeless and endless argument. If your fights have become more frequent, it’s time to reflect on whether you’ve stopped picking your battles with your boo.

Your partner has been walking on eggshells

Sometimes, your partner may feel that your moods are unpredictable. For instance, they may be unsure of what will annoy you or when they will end up not meeting your expectations. This will make them extra careful around you, which may feel draining after a point and hinder them from truly being themselves. 

Your partner feels you’re not happy with them

When you end up getting mad at your partner very often over little things, they may get a feeling they are not enough for you. They may be disheartened and feel insecure. Their self-esteem takes a hit and after a point, they wonder if they can ever make you happy. 

You both seem to be shutting down

After constant feelings of not measuring up and tip-toeing around you, your partner feels defensive and shuts down. Meanwhile, being in that negative space constantly makes you feel resentful. You both end up building walls around yourself, instead of being open with each other. 

Your emotional and physical intimacy has reduced

With both partners having shut down, intimacy inevitably suffers. If one partner has been feeling not good enough and the complaining partner feels not heard, communication cracks and they feel disconnected. The frequency of sex and physical affection goes down as well. 

Your partner seems easily frustrated

After a point, your partner may feel frustrated with constantly being on edge in a relationship. They expect peace and bliss, but being in conflict for a prolonged period makes them anxious. If you feel they, too, have been short with you and snapping at your mistakes, chances are they are very close to a meltdown. 

Your partner has asked you to cut them slack

This doesn’t get more direct! If they have outright told you that lately you’ve been getting mad at them for everything and you need to cut them some slack—you really do need to!

Also read: How gratitude can build your marriage

Also read: How to pull your guard down in a relationship