Did you know that working on yourself can make you a better partner?

We often hear the advice, “Love yourself before you can love someone else,"  but we seldom understand what it means in the context of relationships. It has a lot to do with personal growth. When you invest time and energy into understanding yourself—your needs, your emotional landscape, etc—you become a much more supportive and fulfilling partner. Your relationship benefits because you've done the work to show up as your best self.

So, what are the deeper reasons that working on yourself truly transforms your relationship? Let’s dive in.

Understanding our own emotional baggage leads to making space for others

We all have our own emotional baggage to deal with. According to Dr Prachi Saxena, a trauma-focused relationship therapist and dating coach, our past experiences, whether from childhood or previous relationships, shape our emotional responses and behaviours. This 'emotional baggage' can inadvertently impact our current partnerships. By delving into our own emotional world, we can identify these patterns and work towards healing old wounds. This newfound self-awareness allows us to approach our relationships with a clearer perspective, reducing the likelihood of projecting past hurts onto our partners.

It makes space for more empathy and better communication

“When you work on yourself, you clear mind space for other people's perspectives because you're not burdened by your own emotional overwhelm or wounds,” says Dr Saxena. By understanding our own emotions and reactions, we become better equipped to comprehend and validate our partner's feelings. When we've done the work to heal our own wounds, we're less likely to take things personally or react defensively. This creates a safe space for open and honest communication, allowing couples to navigate challenges together with greater ease.

Helps to maintain the perfect balance between individuality and partnership

A thriving relationship is a perfect blend of individual growth and shared experiences. By nurturing our own interests and passions, we bring fresh energy and perspective to the partnership. This, in turn, inspires our partner to pursue their own goals, creating a sense of mutual support and respect. When both partners are fulfilled individually, the connection between them deepens.

Your partner doesn’t complete you, they compliment you

Just as a house requires a solid foundation, all relationships thrive on a bedrock of individual strength and stability. When we, as individuals, prioritise personal growth, we develop a stronger sense of self-worth and autonomy. This empowers us to bring more to the relationship, rather than relying on our partner to complete us. A secure sense of self also leads to trust and independence, which are among the most essential components of a healthy relationship.

Helps in building resilience and adaptability

Life is full of unexpected challenges and changes. When you've worked on building your resilience, you're better equipped to handle stress and adversity as a couple. It also increases your ability to adapt to changes in the relationship and in life in general. Dr Saxena emphasises that personal growth equips individuals with the tools to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs with greater ease. By understanding and managing your own emotional responses, you become more resilient to stress and setbacks. This strength translates into a more stable and supportive partner. Additionally, when you're comfortable with change and open to new experiences, you're more likely to approach challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats.

Image credit: Pexels

Also read: 5 important things you must discuss with your partner before getting married

Also read: Aditi Rao Hydari on being self-aware, adulting, and love at first sight