What you need to know before writing your wedding vows
It’s more than just saying “I Do”.
Are you considering writing your own wedding vows? It's a huge task to sum up your love, dreams, and commitments to your significant other in a few minutes. As overwhelming as it can be, it is totally worth it. It is an opportunity to express your feelings, show guests what makes your relationship tick, and share meaningful words with the person you care about. It's also personal. After all, you're being vulnerable in front of your family and closest friends. We're here to help!
To begin with, answer the following questions
A vow exchange should be equal. Instead of viewing it as a writing competition, get your partner on the same page about your expectations and discuss the following:
-What should the duration of the vows be?
-Will you share inside jokes or want to keep things more general?
-Will they be more funny or sentimental? Or a hybrid of the two?
-Do you wish to include aspects of traditional or religious vows in yours?
1. Don't put it off until the last minute
Plan on writing your vows at least three weeks before your wedding. You'll be grateful for the rehearsal when the wedding-day butterflies set in.
2. Make a list
Make a list of everything that comes to mind regarding your partner or marriage. Later, go back over these notes and mark your favourite things to use as starting points for your vows.
3. Prepare multiple drafts
Take a few days, if not a week, to give yourself and your vows some breathing room. Reread them at least three times but try to stop there. Continuous rewriting presents its own set of difficulties.
4. Don't strive to incorporate everything
It's reasonable to want to include everything you're feeling in your vows, but you just can't. So, prioritise and write about things that are most personal and significant to you and your partner.
5. Don't be afraid of sentiment.
You shouldn't be concerned about coming out as cheesy or corny at this moment. If the words are genuine, they are not corny.
6. Practise reading aloud.
The only way to ensure that everything sounds correct is to listen to it. Reading your vows aloud will help you identify areas where the grammar is problematic or if you're missing a word, as well as whether the flow of speech is consistent.
7. Mark pauses and tone.
Allow time to yourself and the guests to laugh or cry without interfering with your flow. Take it slowly and pay attention to breaks, pauses, and build for the best comprehension and emotional reactions.
8. Share your own stories
Friends and family will be far more interested in hearing about your strange quirks and intimate moments. Guests (and your SO) want to hear genuine vows.
9. Make genuine promises.
Vows are more than simply funny anecdotes; they are a vow and serious commitment made in front of many witnesses. That doesn't imply they have to be intense. You can promise to not only stay by their side forever, but also to exterminate spiders whenever they make their way into your home!
10. Feel your words.
Lastly, the exchange of vows between you and your significant other is a pure one. Remember to stay in the moment and experience the words you're uttering. Don't be concerned about it being too long or too short, even if it sounds lyrical. They are your words and sentiments, so remember to feel each one instead of treating it like a speech.