How to plan a gender-inclusive wedding everyone will love
Cheers to making everyone feel respected, valued, and celebrated.
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Cheers to making everyone feel respected, valued, and celebrated.
While traditional weddings are typically confined to a box with their binary understanding of gender roles, recent awareness and conversations around inclusivity have led to weddings becoming more accepting of diverse gender identities. Making your wedding gender inclusive can see you make a drastic change—to the vows, the many roles assigned for various ceremonies, what guests end up wearing, the wedding invite, and even the seating arrangement, to name a few. By taking everyone into consideration and showing that you care about gender representation, you can have a wedding that makes everyone feel involved.
We've put together some practical ways to make your wedding more gender-inclusive to help you break the mold, keep up with the times, and help everyone around you feel wanted and welcome.
Use gender-neutral language and attire options: If you’re inviting LGBTQ+ guests, include inclusive language in the ceremony and offer recognition of all gender identities with your words. Do away with traditional gendered words such as “bride”, “groom”, “husband” and “wife” in your communication. Choose alternatives such as “partner”, “spouse”, or “couple”. An example would be, instead of saying “The bride and groom will now exchange vows,” you could say, “The couple will now exchange vows.” Instead of saying “ladies and gentlemen”, go for inclusive language such as “everybody here today”.
When it comes to attire, you can choose to give your guests a range of options that are not strictly gender-coded. This could include formal attire—be it a suit, jumpsuit, or a dress that reflects their style. Or a black-tie event where guests can choose between a suit, a tuxedo, a formal dress, or another elegant outfit, regardless of gender identity.
By using inclusive language and attire options, you're creating a welcoming atmosphere for everyone, regardless of their gender identity. This approach encourages guests to feel comfortable being their authentic selves and highlights your respect for diversity.
Revise traditional wedding roles: Instead of having roles such as “maid of honour” and “best man” that reinforce gender roles, use neutral or flexible terms such as “honour attendant”, “best person”, “wedding assistant”, or “lead attendant”. These titles focus on the role—which is all about support, and leadership, rather than gender, allowing anyone, regardless of gender identity, to take on this important role. By opting to do so, you’re creating an environment where the participants feel valued for who they are and how they contribute.
Alternatively, instead of assigning roles, you could let your dear ones choose what feels right in a manner that respects and supports their individuality. You might ask your wedding party to choose the title they feel most comfortable with, or even brainstorm together about which tasks they’d like to take on. Doing so and keeping the roles gender-neutral and inclusive fosters a more personal and authentic experience for those invited.
Have inclusive invitations and seating arrangements: The intent to show inclusivity starts much before the wedding. Your wedding invite is the first place to do this. Avoid traditional titles like “Mr” and “Mrs” on your invites and instead use first and last names without gendered prefixes. Ensure that your invitations reflect the diversity of your guest list by acknowledging different gender identities. You could even offer a space for people to fill in their preferred pronouns.
As far as the seating is concerned, you can do away with traditional gendered seating arrangements (such as separate sides for the bride’s and groom’s families) and instead opt for mixed seating. This can make the atmosphere feel more inclusive and relaxed while also encouraging your guests to mingle.
Choose to work with inclusive vendors: Select vendors who are skilled in promoting gender inclusivity. Whether it's photographers, makeup artists, or other service providers, ensure they are comfortable working with individuals of all gender identities and can cater to unique needs.
Make room for diverse families and relationships: Create an environment where all guests feel valued, regardless of their relationship status—whether married, partnered, single, or part of a non-traditional family. Celebrate the diverse forms of love among your guests, embracing not just heterosexual or monogamous relationships, but all expressions of love.
Lead image: Pexels
Also read: How to write your wedding vows
Also read: What you need to know before writing your wedding vows