Only-child brides and grooms are reshaping the traditions of wedding planning

On the morning of her wedding, Jiji Angel Jolly wasn’t surrounded by a bustling entourage of family managing last-minute details. Instead, she sat with her planner, carefully ticking off the final items on her exhaustive checklist. While most brides spend their big day basking in excitement, Jolly had spent months navigating the numerous challenges of planning her inter-faith wedding largely on her own. From booking the venue to coordinating the food and arranging guest accommodations, every detail bore her personal touch. 

Jolly reflects on the emotional toll of her solitary planning experience. “While my parents were busy inviting guests, I often found myself alone, haunted by thoughts of loneliness. Between the endless tasks, I barely had time to care for myself.” Amidst all of this, self-care fell by the wayside. “I didn’t focus on my skincare and ended up feeling self-conscious about my appearance. Just two days before the wedding, I managed to squeeze in a facial. Thankfully, my makeup artist worked wonders,” she adds.

The isolation, coupled with the pressure of managing every detail, left her exhausted. “Some of my friends barely knew what was happening with their weddings because they had siblings handling everything. For me, it was the opposite—I didn’t have a single day of rest.”

A sibling relationship is one of the most profound and trusted bonds one can experience—a true extension of oneself. “When you have a sibling, you can rely on them to make decisions on your behalf, knowing they have your best interests at heart. They become a sounding board for your ideas, someone who provides reassurance and perspective,” says Darshan Shroff, Partner, Momente Weddings.

It certainly isn’t easy going it alone—the logistics alone can often be a nightmare to navigate even with the strength and support siblings can offer. Add in the anxieties and self-doubt before the wedding with no one to share them with, and you’ve likely got a recipe for disaster. This is why we spoke to experts to work out how to navigate this journey with efficiency and ease while ensuring your big day is as joyous as it is memorable.

Embrace your independence

For brides like Jolly who go through the process as only children, the absence of siblings doesn’t equate to a lack of agency or vision. “We’ve worked with several only-child brides and grooms who bring incredible independence and determination to their planning,” Shroff explains. “Their ability to make firm decisions is often their superpower. But we always advise them to create space for collaboration, allowing family and friends to contribute their ideas and support.”

This balance, Shroff notes, ensures that the bride’s vision remains intact while fostering a sense of inclusion and shared celebration—a crucial element for an occasion as communal as a wedding.

The logistical hurdles

People often portray wedding planning as a joyful, collaborative effort, where siblings and extended family come together to realise a couple's dream day. Tarini Sehgal, an only child who recently got married in Himachal Pradesh, reflects: “I come from a broken family, and my immediate family has minimal connection with us. The process became even more stressful because I had to manage everything alone.”

The isolation of this experience often leads the bride or groom to an emotional and logistical balancing act that can both overwhelm and transform an only child. Shroff adds, “While these days, most couples hire a wedding planner, it becomes especially crucial for an only child to seek professional help.” According to him, an only child may feel completely at ease discussing their plans with a third party. “There’s no fear of judgment, and whatever the bride and groom envision for the day can be openly explored and fine-tuned,” he adds.

Additionally, involving one’s partner in the process is crucial. “Gone are the days when the bride or groom managed everything alone. Today, weddings are increasingly collaborative efforts between couples,” Shroff explains. “For only children, including their partner in the planning is not only practical but also emotionally grounding.”

The power of open communication

For many only children, one of the most significant challenges lies in managing parental expectations. Being the centre of attention for their parents often means they’ve spent years envisioning this important day, but their vision may not always align with the bride or groom’s. “It is essential to communicate openly with your parents,” advises Sneh Nigam, founder of Mindcafe India, a mental health and wellness platform. “You’ve both dreamed of this day for years and may have specific ideas about what it should look like. Have an open conversation about your thoughts on the wedding, the number of rituals you want, and other key details. Listen to their perspective as well.”

Nigam acknowledges that it’s natural for parents and children to sometimes be at odds about certain aspects. “It’s perfectly normal to not see eye to eye with your parents. Relax and take things in stride. Keep in mind that while the wedding day is an important rite of passage, it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned. Life is full of compromises, and this is a vital truth one should come to terms with.”

Redefining the wedding party

In most weddings, siblings naturally step into roles like maid of honour or best man, becoming central figures in the planning process. For only children, assembling a bridal or groom party can feel like an emotional minefield.

“Without siblings, choosing close friends or extended family to fill those roles requires deliberation,” says Dr Rahul Chandhok, Senior Consultant of Psychiatry at Artemis Lite NFC, New Delhi. “It’s not uncommon for only children to feel guilt or uncertainty as they navigate these dynamics.”

In such cases, chosen family—friends who have stood by them through various life stages—becomes pivotal. “We’ve seen close-knit friend groups take on these responsibilities with remarkable dedication,” Shroff shares. “It’s a joy to witness bonds that transcend familial ties and become just as meaningful.”

However, not everyone has an eager circle of friends ready to take on these roles. Nigam suggests reframing expectations: “If childhood friends are unavailable, reconnect with college acquaintances or even mentors who’ve guided you. Sometimes, a friend who’s older or from a different life stage offers greater understanding and support.”

Dealing with emotional isolation

Nigam emphasizes the importance of addressing emotional burnout. “Therapy can be a powerful tool before and after the wedding, offering a safe space to process the stress and ensure emotional well-being.”

Dr Chandhok adds that only children often hesitate to delegate tasks. “Their independent nature makes it difficult to rely on others. Counselling sessions can help them recognise that accepting help is not a weakness. Even small tasks, like vendor follow-ups, can be entrusted to friends or family to lighten the load.”

Lead image: Instagram/Nushrratt Bharuccha

Also read: Navigating the first year of marriage: What to expect and how to thrive