How to keep up with your single friends once you're married

Marriage is almost life-changing, especially when it comes to social settings. New family, new people to be around—it’s quite normal as a newlywed to frequently find yourself spending more time with your spouse and family. You simply have only so much of your time you can offer to other people. The guilt accompanying this is fairly normal too, except that it is frequently exacerbated by the “best friend” narrative—that for your spouse to be your closest friend, they must also be your only friend, which is entirely untrue. Unfortunately, some couples take “best friend” far too literally, at the expense of their other relationships, leaving barely any time for friends who have witnessed their journeys, and in some cases for longer than their new partners have. Too often, single friends are the first to bear the brunt of this pulling away.

Here are some ways to reignite the spark with your single friends…

Schedule regular check-ins

Sometimes, just checking in with a simple text can mean a lot to a friend who might be hesitating to reach out to you because they believe you are too busy. Reassuring them that you are emotionally available for them when they need support gives them confidence in the relationship and empowers them to not harbour any resentment for you not being physically available as much.

Plan trips with them! (Because who doesn’t love a good vacation with the people who know you best?)

Just because you are married, it does not have to mean you cannot enjoy a trip without your spouse. It is a great idea to plan a trip with your best friends once in a while. Encourage your SO to do the same with their friends. This gives you ample bonding time with your friends while also carving out some space for your spouse, so both of you can catch up on other aspects of your lives.

Include your spouse (when appropriate)

TBH, nobody likes thirdwheeling all the time. So, invite your spouse to join you and your friends for social activities but only when appropriate. Be mindful of your friends' comfort levels and avoid forcing them into situations they may not want to be in. But the more you can hang out with your spouse and your friends, the less choosing you'll have to do.

Celebrate milestones together

Let them know that they’re important to you and celebrate special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, or promotions together. Create new traditions to strengthen your bonds and create lasting memories. Having even a few rituals together, like annual trips or monthly spa appointments will take you miles (literally).

Be absolutely non-judgmental

Remember that single people may have different priorities and life experiences. Avoid making assumptions or judging their choices. Offer support and understanding without judgment, and let them know that you're there for them, no matter what. A true friend is someone who accepts you for who you are, without conditions.

All images: Pexels

Also read: What to do if your friend has cold feet on their wedding day?

Also read: Things you can relate to when your best friend is getting married