How to be an actually great wedding guest

There are three seasons in India: summer, monsoon, and wedding season. For 45 days, starting mid-November until early January, all work stops, and there’s a wedding happening every 1.6 seconds. So here’s a 10 step guide on how to be the MVP of every wedding you’re invited to.

Be excited to be there! This one is a no-brainer but when people have a million weddings to attend, it’s easy (and understandable) to complain about how tired you are or how you don’t want to dress up for the 100th time. But to ace the wedding guest game, please don’t—it’s boring, and it also undermines all the hard work the bride, groom and their families have put in. This is their special day, and your job is to make them feel that! Even if it is the same menu at the Taj you’ve had for the last 3 Saturdays in a row. 

Count your drinks (so you don’t embarrass yourself). Even though it is an open bar, you want to be the fun friend, not the sloppy one who had to be sent home. 

Do not ask other guests when they are getting married. Indian aunties feel like it’s acceptable to ask this most violating question to every unmarried woman they see at a wedding. Indian society places way too much of a premium on finding a man, but people need to be able to take their time to find the right one if it’s what they want. It’s not a race to the finish line to get married, no one gets a gold star for being the first one down the aisle. Asking this question adds to the immense and unnecessary pressure that women already face about finding a partner—don’t be part of the problem! And also, besides all of these great reasons, it’s not really any of your business, is it?

Have fun with the bride’s parents. They have spent a lot of time, energy and money on this day and they should be a part of it. It’s an emotional and special time, and it does go a long way to grab them and make them dance, or ask to take a picture with them!

Do not embarrass the bride (or the groom) in your speech. No one wants to hear about exes, or what the bride did for spring break in Cabo. Save that for their bachelorette trip. You’re not trying to give their mother-in-law ammunition to use against them. The best wedding speeches combine humour without having too many inside jokes, talk about both the bride and groom (not just your friend), and are sentimental without relying on lines from movies. 

Be the last person on the dance floor. It’s your job to make sure the bride is having the time of her life which means you are the first to start dancing, you are pulling people on to the dance floor, you are starting a Congo line, you are grabbing the mic to sing with the band. Your energy level should correlate to the depth and length of your friendship. If you grew up together, you better not be leaving early or missing events.

But do not be the person who forgets their dance steps. If you have wormed your way out of the sangeet, then make sure you do whatever small thing the bride and groom might have given you the responsibility for. Weddings can be really stressful and hard to plan, so try and help in whatever little way you can.

Do not stick to your partner. This is not date night. You can hang out with them at home. 

But please stick to the dress code. The couple has spent a lot of time curating the vibe and decor and theme so that her outfit stands out perfectly, so the least you can do is follow requests for what to wear. The bride really doesn’t want your neon dress sticking out in the sea of pastels in her pictures and videos. 

Go talk to people you don’t know. If you’re curious why the ex who the bride cheated on in order to marry the groom is present, go ask them. If you see your high school History teacher, go catch up with him. If you see someone you have never spoken to in real life, but know from Instagram, go give them a hug and ask them who designed their outfit. Weddings are like summer camp: they are the chance to meet totally random people who you will never see again. So go ahead and ask them all of your unhinged questions, and maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll make a friend or two? So go do it!

Lead image: Instagram/Alanna Panday

Also read: 6 labels to turn to for finding the perfect wedding guest dress

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